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Thanks be to...
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Total votes : 11
Post Posted: October 19th 2014 7:17 pm
 
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Title: Mortician
Join: May 26th 2005 1:23 am
Posts: 1928
Location: Progress City
Hey, MF. What's crakalackin'? I've been to Hell for a few months. Honestly, I'd have rather spent the last year in jail.

But fuck me, I show back up here and WHABLAM. All new MF. I like it, I had to switch to the 'comicbook' board style cuz reading white letters on black scrambles my vision. It's not as sweet to look at without the Spawn art seen in previous MF, but it reads okay. Everything seems to be in all caps though, is that a bug? Should I report that shiz?

Anyways, good to see you folks again. If any of you new members are reading this, please link to pictures/video of cute, yet chubby womens and/or oversized twerkers in pms only. (That's a Jedi Mind-Trick right thurr)

:funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger: :funkyheadbanger:


Post Posted: October 19th 2014 8:28 pm
 
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Join: May 2nd 2005 7:26 am
Posts: 1999
Location: Down the rabbit hole
Sup, bitch?


Post Posted: October 19th 2014 9:28 pm
 
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Title: Mortician
Join: May 26th 2005 1:23 am
Posts: 1928
Location: Progress City
I became a Funeral Director, officially, in July. I had my own infant daughter's funeral in September. I am writing a self-help book about that, but I'm working out the ending as I type. I have had four days off since. The last two heavily populated with hard-cider and solitude.

And apparently over the last few months I have become a discipline case for anyone who feels they have the authority to discipline me. Personally and professionally. Which is difficult to take at 40+ years old, well, without making a ton of infuriating and blasphemous jokes and snide comments along the way. I'm good at what I do, and what I do aint easy.

Things have been tough. Mrs. Oblix isn't a fan of my comedy routine anymore, but luckily hasn't thrown her wedding ring at me since the funeral. Which is nice, silver linings and such, I guess. Not really, but a guy's gotta try to be positive. Before anyone schedules an intervention. I do not own weapons, and I'm far too conceited for suicide. But I'm angrily trying to believe in the good old American dream. Work hard, do a good job, and things will work out for you.

The third part of that seems to be more elusive than usual these days. That's what's up. That, and if I posted this on facebook I'd be fired, divorced, and defriended. Which makes me kinda' wanna do it, like gambling with social credit. This forum still says 'stupid shit', so here it is; my stupid shit. Why not dump it here and let you crazy bastards hate it with me? Or hate me for it. Either way, it's something new, and as an agent of chaos I can have hope in that at least.


Post Posted: October 20th 2014 5:30 am
 
OBGYN
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Join: August 25th 2004 12:31 pm
Posts: 3471
Wow. Just wow. So sorry about all your bad shit.


Post Posted: October 20th 2014 8:33 pm
 
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Join: May 2nd 2005 7:26 am
Posts: 1999
Location: Down the rabbit hole
Holy shit-balls, dood. That's a lot.

Let me start with, sorry to hear about your loss, man. That's a hard one to take. Hope things get better, and by better, I mean soon.

By all means, vent away, no judgement (that's a lie, you know we're all a bunch of nederthal dicks around here, anyway), but your perspective is always welcome. Here's to things looking upwards.


Post Posted: October 20th 2014 9:43 pm
 
Bush Pilot
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Join: March 23rd 2005 3:46 pm
Posts: 1458
Damn, Troy. As one human being to another, let me wish you the best in getting through all of that. I've had some ups and downs, more downs this past year it seems, but I can't imagine losing a child. (I've gone from 0 to 4 since joining MF).


Post Posted: October 20th 2014 11:18 pm
 
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Title: Mortician
Join: May 26th 2005 1:23 am
Posts: 1928
Location: Progress City
To be clear, I appreciate the support MF. Thanks y'all. Sappy personal montages have no place in war. And while I would object to this self indulgent catharsis under normal circumstances, I mentioned it so maybe I should explain.

Nine years of fun and failure. I've watched a lot of instructional videos and I get a lot of practice, so I am pretty sure we are mechanically doing it right. It just never worked. Then finally in December 2013 my wife got pregnant for the first time. We had that kids whole life planned at 8 weeks, but on December 30th she had a miscarriage. Oddly enough, my bro died on December 31st of 08', so I already hated that weekend. Now I get to hate it for two days in a row. Great. But it was a mess, and it was scary, and as a generally resourceful self-proclaimed knowitall, I was powerless to fix it. For my wife it was all that, plus painful. That tests your metal, watching someone you spent years loving writhe in pain, knowing you are witnessing the future you both had planned, dying, and you have no options except to watch. It sucked, and nothing could have been worse.

So as soon as possible, Mrs. Oblix wants to try again. I have a degree in death, and whether or not the immature fetus counted as life to anyone else, to us it was our baby. I have studied what this does to the mind, and having that knowledge didn't help me. She was ready, I thought we should wait. But hey, considering how it all happens, I was down for the mechanics, and it wasn't hard to get me to give it a shot. So Mrs. Oblix tells me in the spring of 14' that she's pregnant again. Oh great oh shit. I was so freaked out that when my wife told me she was pregnant that second time, asshole that I am, I said "Hey, good for you!" Boy, was she pissed.

But as the weeks went on, the fear of a repeat tragedy went away. We passed the 13 week mark where they tell you everything is going to be alright and thought we were in the clear. We went to our 20 week ultrasound, where they tell you the sex these days and whether or not there are any major defects, wondering wtf was going to be for lunch after and "hey, can you give us the good news and let us go because its really nice out today, doc". I had some great boy names picked out, although Darth Berzerkus was never going to get approved. And as soon as they started to do the ultrasound, these people started trippin. My wife felt fine, but apparently she was dilating. At 20ish weeks, that isn't good. Babies don't really have lungs to resuscitate at that age. Neo-natal Intensive Care Units (the ones we contacted) don't take premature infants under 24 weeks. Baby comes out now, its a death sentence. It was a girl, and since it looked like such a precarious scenario, we named her immediately. We didn't want her to die without a name.

I rushed her from the ultrasound to two weeks in our local hospital. The first week was boring, we waited for days to see if they could perform a cerclage. Its a procedure where they put a stitch in to close off the cervix, buying enough time to have a chance. And hooray! They did it. We went home and thought again that everything was going to be okay. We were there for about ten hours when she started having contractions. By midnight, we were back, and things were much worse for week two. My wife was in labor for almost 70 hours when the Doctors finally agreed that there was no hope. They took out the stitch before it tore its own way out and at 7:28 on September 9th our little girl was born. I held her in my arms for the 32 minutes she lived, and I watched her die.

I have a degree in death, and this time the license. I was my own Funeral Director. It went well, as funerals go. I organized it all and gave my own announcements. There was no viewing. There is never a good result, professionally speaking, with newborns, premature ones much less so. There just isn't the tissue or structure, its like trying to preserve a puff of smoke. Still, there was a large crowd, considering only my wife and I had ever met her. Some people question the idea of having a service in this case, but I'm glad we did. We got a stopping point of one scene, the tragedy, and the starting point of another. Hopefully a better one. But we will always wonder what could have been. Doubly so now.

It has made dealing with other people easier. Its not as bad on my side of the table, once you've been on the other. But, I have studied what this does to the mind, and having that knowledge didn't help me. But it helps me to help other people. And while that's a good thing, still, I'd rather be ignorant of it all and have some little human call me "Dad".

(hidden for the non-clickers, not required reading, extra-credit)

EDIT: I don't think the 'spoiler'/hidden function works er somesuchthing. Quote and just don't post if you want to read the whole tale of woe, its kinda long :)

But the point is, I don't get here lately because the world has kicked me in the face, and I have shitty internet. However this "New MF" loads quicker and better on it. I hope to become more regular, like other people my age do by eating fiber. Whatever the fuck that is. The frontpage alone is worth a visit, new Star Wars looks :wayghey:


Post Posted: October 21st 2014 7:00 pm
 
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Join: May 2nd 2005 7:26 am
Posts: 1999
Location: Down the rabbit hole
In all seroiusness, brought a tear to me, sir.

I don't know what the future holds for you and the Mrs., but I pray its for the better.

No one deserves what you've been through.


Post Posted: October 21st 2014 9:54 pm
 
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Title: Mortician
Join: May 26th 2005 1:23 am
Posts: 1928
Location: Progress City
Thanks, Cryostar. I'm actually into a 17 page unfinished version of that which I was hoping someone would make into a movie. Total chickflick, sort of, I don't think I'd go see it at the movies. Not enough robots, spaceships, or explosions. But maybe a family movie. One I'd have to edit out all my jokes from. Yes, even in the midst of tragedy, there are jokes. I'm going to hell anyways, and they are pretty damned funny.

When I think of how bad that all sucked though, I remember all those people I've seen on shitty video from the middle east, getting their heads sawed off with a butcher knife. And I know, those poor bastards have it worse. And so does anyone who loves em. It doesn't make me feel better, per se, but its good to remember that life could be worse.


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