If the third act of the film even loosely follows what's listed in JediPaxis' detailed leak report, then it's over for Star Wars. Acts I and II read like a recording of a seven year old playing with Star Wars toys: no logic to it whatsoever. Act III reads like that seven year old has ADHD and done 66 hits on a crack pipe
. The plot is literally allover the place.
Heroes thought slain, are (unremarkably) later discovered to be alive. There is NO COURAGE in any of the character choices. Things happen JUST BECAUSE they happen. That crackhead-ADHD boy, who is clutching his little 3" dolls, is somersaulting off of the couch, onto the living room floor, to leap up atop of the entertainment center, to then cartwheel into the potted plant!
Anything that leads to anything else is through pure happenstance. How can C follow A without a B in-between? Oh look! There's B right there! Whew! It's a damn good thing that that was there and EXACTLY when we needed it most...!
Ghost Luke uses the Force to PHYSICALLY catch his old lightsaber AND he raises his X-Wing up for Rey. The gall of him doing that now! After all, he did not have the wherewithal to do that for himself, so that he could be physically present
when it mattered most for his friends who cornered themselves on Pink Himalayan Salt World. The Original Trilogy Luke WOULD HAVE BEEN THERE, and he would have done anything to make it happen. It happens here, because Disney knows how fucked they are and they're going to pack in as much nostalgia as possible.
And Palpatine... Oh Sheev, you "sneaky" rascal you! Sucking the Force out of the two personified polar ends of the Force, ONLY...! Kylo-Ben is NO LONGER EVIL. He is now GOOD
. So, we have two POSITIVE terminals to tap, so there is NO CHARGE to trigger a burst of energy for you to suck up to become young and vigorous again. SO vigorous, that you're now SHOOTING DOWN STARFIGHTERS OUT OF THE ETHER! Hey Sheev! Why didn't you do that on the Death Star II when confronting Luke and Daddy Vader? Or, better yet, at your Coruscant office? You could've EASILY roasted Mace and his Jedi posse! Oh, I see, you only have this power level now because the SPASTIC CRACKHEAD-ADHD KID thought it would be OH SO COOL to see those starfighters go BOOOOOM because of your sparkly fingertips!
And that's the problem. It's always style over substance. ALWAYS! Second to that, is implanting Woke Doctrines into the mindless masses. Only then (maybe!), will we get "character development," and then, always of the thinnest and most cliche nature.
And then Ghost Luke and Ghost Leia show up to turn Palpatine's onslaught back on him, allowing Rey to get the killing stroke in. SHE is the FINAL, ULTIMATE expression of The Chosen One Prophecy, for where is there room for the power of Anakin's redemption by his beloved son now? Of course, there might be a twist most secret, that's yet to be revealed that will CERTAINLY SAVE THE FRANCHISE! Perhaps the Ghost Twins and Rey are loosing, and then... Ghost Dadd
y shows up! And it's only THEN that Rey
makes the prophecy ACTUAL reality.
Only even with Ghost Daddy there, The Most Convoluted Plot in Cinema History makes it impossible to care about characters who we were never permitted to connect with, because MAN HATING AND GODDESS WORSHIPING TRUMPED EVERYTHING ELSE. All of those minutes that were devoted to painstakingly preaching just HOW STUPID MEN ARE - those precious, irrecoverable minutes, could have been used to make us connect our hearts with well reasoned and captivating characters.
But no. An incomprehensible mess
. Even if Dr. Lucas was elbows-deep into the fetid rectum to save this patient, there's no way to undo what The Last Jedi wrought.
There is only one ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY of what Star Wars' legacy will now be: Kathleen Kennedy, Ruin Johnson, J.J. Abrams, and Pablo Hidalgo will forever be known as The Four Horsemen of The Star Wars Apocalypse. Surely a feat so impossible, that only an Act of God could make it happen. And their combined ARROGANCE was so great, that it indeed elevated these insatiably selfish bastards ABOVE god, and they gleefully brought to utter ruin his once glorious creation.