Thanks to Disney's gaff on their own Star Wars website, we now "know" (and honestly, who didn't see it coming) that "Darth Rey" is a VISION, ala what Luke experienced on Dagobah.

If even half of these leaks are partially true, then what we're looking at is a major retcon, and on a scale that'll shatter anything we've ever seen Hollywood diarrhea out in the past. What that'll prove is that even Disney recognizes what an epic turd The Last Jedi was. Yes, oh diehard sheep, THAT IS WHAT IT WILL MEAN.

In the history of Hollywood, has there ever been a "gaff" of this magnitude before? Nope! And don't ever let film history revisionists fool you - this was NOT a gaff. It was absolutely deliberate. And the audience's rejection of it is concrete and visceral.

There is no way, none, that they can fold in the Mortis material without simultaneously BLAZING to the audience the ham fisted machine of fixing Ruin Johnson's praised by Kennedy-Abrams-Hidalgo abomination. And that folks, will destroy ALL immersion. And let's look at JJ Abrams' track record with being able to finish anything with any kind of convincing polish and panache. His track record? Abysmal. But don't give up hope folks! He's got a writer from BATMAN v. SUPERMAN to help save the day!!!

lol

At a pivotal point in the film, Rey will be standing over Kylo's defeated form (again!), and he'll croak out "My mother's...name...is...LEIAAAAAA!" And simultaneously Rey will say the same, and then they'll be BEST BUDDIES. Just like that!

HILARIOUS!

And Palpatine's massive hidden and "scary" fleet of star destroyers? How threatening can they be when all the Resistance has to do is slap a cheap "Watto-grade" hyperdrive and a mouse droid pilot onto asteroids and shoot them at light speed on the ships that are parked on the flank of each column, and thus having those ships' exploding guts take out dozens of the other star destroyers parked close by ala as seen in the brilliant The Last Jedi?

I'm certain to be sitting on the edge of my seat for that one!

I read and re-read those leaks, and it's just impossible. And I can't even enjoy The Original Trilogy anymore, because in Solo, they went to enormous lengths to establish that the Millennium Falcon is a SEX SLAVE of Lando's!!!

What the HELL!!!!
So now what's the "proper" pronoun for the Falcon?!

Could you imagine even ten years ago having to entertain such thoughts about the Star Wars universe? Had I brought it up ten years ago, "Hey guys, I think that the Millennium Falcon should have the brain of a robot that Lando had hardcore sex with, and it'd be SO cool to then realize that all of our childhood heroes were WALKING AROUND INSIDE A WOMB! Whaddaya think guys?" I would've been RIGHTFULLY mocked and ridiculed for such grotesque stupidity. But here we are - with sheep ARDENTLY DEFENDING this putrid garbage!

IX is GOING TO SUCK.
In spite of Disney's pathetic efforts, IT WILL NOT HEAL ANY OF THE WOUNDS THAT HAVE BEEN ORCHESTRATED.
Disney DESERVES to crumble into the very sewage that it splatters out.

After reading the above, and reading Act II by JediPaxis, there's one thing that's really nagging at me. The plot is TOO SIMPLE. It needs to be made more... impossibly convoluted.

I dearly hope that Abrams/Kennedy/Hidalgo can deliver on that front. If even a tenth of this is true, this film's an enormous mess. A Hellraiser puzzlebox, glowing Jedi-blue. It'll make Lucas' ham fisted writing of the Prequels seem like Shakespeare. Just look at how much crap is PULLED RIGHT OUT OF THIN AIR. Every other plot point is so entirely convenient as to be impossible to believe.

How many times is Rey going to duel Kylo and BEAT HIM IN BATTLE? So sad. Just awful stuff. The only portions that read even remotely emotional deal with the Original Trilogy characters, and everything else? Who cares? And I say that not because it's impossible to make the new characters dear to a person's heart (look at what Lucas pulled off with Lando, taking a villain and making him a believable hero), it's just that Disney did exactly NOTHING to make any of them endearing.

At all. Their primary focus was to point out how unbelievably stupid, awful and terrible men are. That the only path to salvation lies in the hands of a goddess who needs not a bit of training, as it is beyond evident that there is no combination of Force adepts who are as powerful and as capable as she is. She can, after all, elegantly float and ballet tens of thousands' of tons of boulders at one time, and without dripping a single drop of sweat!

Such a waste of time and resources. And the original cast was completely squandered for wokeness points. There will never, ever, be another opportunity to do this right. Goddamn.

Tragic.

I'm in the process of (hopefully) wrapping up the sale of every last bit of Star Wars toys I have, including The Empire Strikes Back coloring box that had knobs that rotated the spool to the images to be colored. The HOURS that I poured into that thing... I traced those drawings over and over again, swapping out Luke's blaster with his blue lightsaber. Yes, my potential buyer even wants that. I'm even willing to setup a layaway plan for him. I don't care if it takes him five months to pay it off. Four large Rubbermaid containers' worth of deep passion, hope, and love. No longer wanted. No longer needed. I can't wrap my mind around just how thoroughly Disney DESTROYED THAT. How does one even begin to target such a thing? They did it though. The impossible.

Can't get my mind around it. The ARROGANCE to do what they did. Beyond imagining. Goddamn.

If the third act of the film even loosely follows what's listed in JediPaxis' detailed leak report, then it's over for Star Wars. Acts I and II read like a recording of a seven year old playing with Star Wars toys: no logic to it whatsoever. Act III reads like that seven year old has ADHD and done 66 hits on a crack pipe. The plot is literally allover the place.

Heroes thought slain, are (unremarkably) later discovered to be alive. There is NO COURAGE in any of the character choices. Things happen JUST BECAUSE they happen. That crackhead-ADHD boy, who is clutching his little 3" dolls, is somersaulting off of the couch, onto the living room floor, to leap up atop of the entertainment center, to then cartwheel into the potted plant!

Anything that leads to anything else is through pure happenstance. How can C follow A without a B in-between? Oh look! There's B right there! Whew! It's a damn good thing that that was there and EXACTLY when we needed it most...!

Ghost Luke uses the Force to PHYSICALLY catch his old lightsaber AND he raises his X-Wing up for Rey. The gall of him doing that now! After all, he did not have the wherewithal to do that for himself, so that he could be physically present when it mattered most for his friends who cornered themselves on Pink Himalayan Salt World. The Original Trilogy Luke WOULD HAVE BEEN THERE, and he would have done anything to make it happen. It happens here, because Disney knows how fucked they are and they're going to pack in as much nostalgia as possible.

And Palpatine... Oh Sheev, you "sneaky" rascal you! Sucking the Force out of the two personified polar ends of the Force, ONLY...! Kylo-Ben is NO LONGER EVIL. He is now GOOD. So, we have two POSITIVE terminals to tap, so there is NO CHARGE to trigger a burst of energy for you to suck up to become young and vigorous again. SO vigorous, that you're now SHOOTING DOWN STARFIGHTERS OUT OF THE ETHER! Hey Sheev! Why didn't you do that on the Death Star II when confronting Luke and Daddy Vader? Or, better yet, at your Coruscant office? You could've EASILY roasted Mace and his Jedi posse! Oh, I see, you only have this power level now because the SPASTIC CRACKHEAD-ADHD KID thought it would be OH SO COOL to see those starfighters go BOOOOOM because of your sparkly fingertips!

And that's the problem. It's always style over substance. ALWAYS! Second to that, is implanting Woke Doctrines into the mindless masses. Only then (maybe!), will we get "character development," and then, always of the thinnest and most cliche nature.

And then Ghost Luke and Ghost Leia show up to turn Palpatine's onslaught back on him, allowing Rey to get the killing stroke in. SHE is the FINAL, ULTIMATE expression of The Chosen One Prophecy, for where is there room for the power of Anakin's redemption by his beloved son now? Of course, there might be a twist most secret, that's yet to be revealed that will CERTAINLY SAVE THE FRANCHISE! Perhaps the Ghost Twins and Rey are loosing, and then... Ghost Daddy shows up! And it's only THEN that Rey makes the prophecy ACTUAL reality.

Only even with Ghost Daddy there, The Most Convoluted Plot in Cinema History makes it impossible to care about characters who we were never permitted to connect with, because MAN HATING AND GODDESS WORSHIPING TRUMPED EVERYTHING ELSE. All of those minutes that were devoted to painstakingly preaching just HOW STUPID MEN ARE - those precious, irrecoverable minutes, could have been used to make us connect our hearts with well reasoned and captivating characters.

But no. An incomprehensible mess. Even if Dr. Lucas was elbows-deep into the fetid rectum to save this patient, there's no way to undo what The Last Jedi wrought.

There is only one ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY of what Star Wars' legacy will now be: Kathleen Kennedy, Ruin Johnson, J.J. Abrams, and Pablo Hidalgo will forever be known as The Four Horsemen of The Star Wars Apocalypse. Surely a feat so impossible, that only an Act of God could make it happen. And their combined ARROGANCE was so great, that it indeed elevated these insatiably selfish bastards ABOVE god, and they gleefully brought to utter ruin his once glorious creation.

What the hell is wrong with Kyle?

Walt Disney peed in his butt.

Do you know what I find to be sad? I'm called "...the hater..."

Here's the sad reality of the situation... Except for myself, and perhaps several others, the overwhelming majority of us Star Wars fans are DESPERATELY HOPING that they get The Rise of Skywalker "right." That they can, somehow (impossibly) undo the complete and utter disaster of The Last Jedi.

Disney, also, is desperately hoping to get The Rise of Skywalker right. Now here's the part that's pitiful, and I mean that in the most sincere way. Disney's reasons for desperately trying to have this jetting stream of raw sewage sprout a dandelion are NOT for the same reasons we are hoping for.

Proof?

Had we done what they WANTED us to do, slurped that "men are idiots/men suck/worship goddesses who need no man nor education/let's have sex with robots and everything" toxic swill as if it was mineral water, they would NOT have created this desperate pit of cheap nostalgia for us to drunkenly fall into. They would've fed us even more of their mass mind control toxic swill. But their unimaginable, sociopathic arrogance blinded them to what was oh so obvious. And as a result of their unbridled arrogance, Disney's gushing out money that should've been easily burying them alive instead.

As Iger pointed out, Disney does NOT give a damn about Lucas' vision.

Not
one
bit.

Nor does Disney give a damn about our feelings for how they deliberately went WAY OUT OF THEIR WAY to destroy our pop cultural heritage. The EVIDENCE IS OVERWHELMING. They destroyed it ON PURPOSE.

But somehow "I," I am "the hater." My ANGER is JUSTIFIED. I am strongly OPPOSED to their plans and to their deeds. They do NOT respect what Lucas created, and what our hearts embraced. They WANT to HURT what we believe in!

Read that top line 50 more times. Maybe THEN it will sink through what is ACTUALLY happening here. Their actions leave NO DOUBTS that they DESPISE us. They want their customers to be mindless drones eager to suckle on their twisted teat, and all the while, to get as much money as possible from those gullible enough to not question what it is they're actually trying to achieve.

That
is
it.

There are NO OTHER GOALS.

Call me "the hater" all you want. That you can look the enemy in the face and not see them for what they are is beyond me, but know this, they have you right where they want you. You will give them your hard earned money in spite of being warned of the heart of the matter. The sewer main has ruptured. The toxic waste fills the streets, and you are going to PAY THEM for the "honor" of SUBMERGING YOURSELF in it. That I am shouting this out to everyone with ears to hear is NOT me "hating." It is a desperate attempt to alert you of foul intentions, and vile actions.

Iam actually scared of you Kyle. You really are creppy!

I dont know... the more I read the rants... I get it. I guarantee there are creepier people in hollyweird. Luke himself wasnt happy...

Kyle, I'm just going to pick out one thing out of your mindless rant against me.

I have called a bunch of people out on here many times since the prequel era.

How many times I've defended the prequels on here? Many times.

How many times I've said JJ Abrams like to use misdirection? Tons of time right?

How many times I've said Rey is a Skywalker and got blasted for it? Many, many times right?

I only blasted the fandom when TLJ came out saying only like 2 times, fans had blood on their hands because it was their hatred of the prequels that drove George Lucas far, far away. Only few times and I moved on. Is Lucas a deity (god?) Far from it. He's just a human being with a brilliant vision. He may have anger issues as I mentioned to SI, sure, but that doesn't detract from how good he is when it comes to Star Wars and Indiana Jones.

Don't believe me? Ask Bandersnatch about how many times I've been a cunt about the whole "Rey is a Skywalker" thing or the "Misdirection" thing. Every time I called someone out here, I never felt the need to write a manifesto every time. Out of all the websites since the VHS THX editions, I actually prefer this site out of any other site especially TF.N. I mean their forums reads off like a bunch of robots saying, "yes, yes, yes" over and over again to anything that's released even the Disney movies.

Kyle because YOU, yes you accused me of being the messenger that ignores the message. I gave you few examples why I did disagree with the majority of people in here to support the notion that not everyone is all the same even with the recent leaks. (Look ma, I made the topic relevant again!)

We are a forum that doesn't 100 percent agree all the time but we respect each other enough to have a civilized constructive discussion about SW even right now with all the leaks without looking like an animal with a frothing drool on my mouth the way you have. There is a way to peacefully express your opinions, and you haven't figured that part out hence why you look like a deranged madman. (Seriously, try reading your own posts before hitting submit post! You'll see why people want to distance themselves from YOU!)

tl;dr Kylie Monologue

Kyle, the reason I didn’t provide any evidence because I thought you were asking KyleKataranMG to provide evidence. That is what happens when you don’t properly format your response because you’ve been busy spraying your saliva in our faces every time you open your mouth. I don’t see much of putdowns on here these days. I just attribute that to our older members like myself or Bandersnatch for example getting older now. I think we are more mature because some of us have our own families our own children now.

The last time this site broke out in a putdown war was what, 2002-2005? When we had members like miss bacta, Tony Montana, TroyOlibX, and Fatboy Roberts and when I was Lord Caldid. Since the end of the Prequel Trilogy, Some of the aforementioned members moved on to bigger things and they got on with their lives. A handful of members like myself still come here to discuss Star Wars. There’s like ten of us left over from the PT era who still come here because we enjoy discussing what’s next to come for Star Wars and what’s been leaked like the Iger book and the Praxis leaks. That’s all to it. We know our pasts and we have no shame about it.

If you want putdowns go to TF.N.

Can we please ban Kyle? It’s bad enough that we have to disagree on how we feel about the Sequels. But, having a mentally unstable apparent Trump-supporting misinformed conspiracy theorist in Kyle is way too dangerous to deal with. He should be banned.

you dont have to read it.

I just scroll past Kyle's posts. Easier that way.

While I haven't agreed with the story direction the ST has taken, and I have always questioned the motive for the existence of the ST to begin with (profits, not creativity), I accept the ST/Rogue One/Solo/Rebels etc. for what they are - additions to the story I have loved for 90 percent of my life.

it is possible to disagree with something you enjoy.

Cool! do black females now!!!!

lol SI.
This is why I have all those TFM people muted on twitter and unsubscribed on youtube (I subscribed to a few like two years ago, but it was tame then compared to now. they've revealed themselves.)

I didn't know someone could type with so many caps. damn.

what a loser.

Holy shit this is a serious case of PMS.
Be careful Kyle, don't let the PMS control you!

Kyle, I'm a Democrat that's all for progressives and equality in America.

But what do I see you as?

Unhinged and unstable, I mean, you're literally hijacking a Star Wars forum and using it as a platform to advance your bile of hatred.
You claim you're woke af, but consider this:

If I screenshot'd all of your incessant rantings and sent them to your "heroes" AOC, the other three Freshmen congresswomen on twitter, and Lucas...

What would happen then?
What will they think of you?

"Dangerous and should be contained," They'd say.

They'd view you as a home grown terrorist and say you could pose a risk to America. You know why? Because your rantings will make anyone think you will take up arms against other innocent Americans and going to the nearest theater and open fire on other SW fans. SW fans who just want to see a Star Wars movie.

People like you is why people from foreign countries like SI are going, "What the fuck is wrong with America?"
Kyle? You are what the fuck is wrong with America.

In other news, Disney's number 1 fan "Kyle" gets his own thread