Stupid & Stupider (and other strange tales)

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Stupid & Stupider (and other strange tales)

Postby Bandersnatch » May 24th 2005 9:59 am

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Postby Artmaul » May 24th 2005 10:02 am

That was like getting TubGirled. Post a fucking warning next time.
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Postby Bandersnatch » May 24th 2005 10:04 am

stacy3po wrote:
Should bacta & I get similar outfits?


Yes. And then film yourselves fighting to the death with flourescent light tubes.

:funky: :vfuckoff:
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Postby Artmaul » May 24th 2005 10:13 am

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Postby Slug » May 24th 2005 2:55 pm

I dont think she counts sheep, she counts hams
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Postby Artmaul » May 24th 2005 3:05 pm

Think of the foul stench coming off that. I'm thinkin' dead skunk, turd, rotten McDLT and sun baked dead octopus.
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Postby dudeski » May 25th 2005 1:07 am

it's like this one time i spread this girl's legs, and almost fucking passed out from the putrid oderiferous eminations from her nether-regions
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Postby dudeski » May 25th 2005 1:39 am

i still fucked her, though
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Postby Artmaul » May 25th 2005 2:17 am

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Postby dudeski » May 25th 2005 4:14 am

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Postby Bandersnatch » May 25th 2005 6:22 am

Holy fuck:

Man Leaps From Car to Retrieve Cigarette

http://story.news.yahoo.com/s/ap/smoker_s_face

:o :o :o :o :o :o :o
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Postby BrotherTheFirst » May 25th 2005 12:28 pm

Used to own a small Thai restaurant. For the bathrooms I tried to be somewhat creative and use black & white photos on each door to represent which bathroom was which. One door with Thai boys playing in the street and the other with Thai girls during a ceremony. 1 in 4 people would come back upstairs (bathrooms in basement) and poke their head in the kitchen asking "Which bathroom am I supposed to use?" making sure to add a little smile (thinking this gesture would somehow reduce their obvious signs of retardation).

painful.
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Postby BrotherTheFirst » May 25th 2005 12:38 pm

all the time. hated the majority of my customers.

another favorite was: "Does the Green Chicken Curry on Rice come with rice?"
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Postby Slug » May 25th 2005 12:55 pm

was the chicken actually green?
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Postby Slug » May 25th 2005 12:59 pm

It makes it sound like it sat in the fridge for 30 days
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Postby BrotherTheFirst » May 25th 2005 1:00 pm

green curry with white chicken.

maybe that's why not too many people ordered it?
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Postby Slug » May 25th 2005 1:05 pm

I'm sure it was good, but it' snot
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Postby DoubleSith » June 1st 2005 2:26 am

The idiot ended up looking just like crispy Anakin. Maybe he'll get a pimp Vader suit. :monocle:


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Postby kremzike » June 1st 2005 3:26 am

That would make it all worth it.
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Postby InsaneSith » June 1st 2005 3:41 am

Man, I'd kill for a vader suit.

Anyway, I hope the dumb bastard comatoses.
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Postby Zéyann » June 1st 2005 7:09 am

kale xander wrote:those lightsabre fucknuts' website: http://www.retardz.co.uk/

no videos up yet.


now i absolutely wouldn't condone you leaving abuse on their guestbook, oh no.


that girl is actually pretty cute :monocle:
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Postby Bandersnatch » June 1st 2005 11:02 am

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Postby Bandersnatch » June 1st 2005 11:44 am

I love how on his pic on that news page, the word ENLARGE appears on the upper right corner.

:heavymetal:
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Postby Slug » June 1st 2005 11:50 am

I think we have found a new Law & Order episode.
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Postby Slug » June 1st 2005 4:01 pm

Keep your pets close, but not too close.
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Postby Slug » June 1st 2005 4:12 pm

It does seem that the pedo guys are punished less than most. I'm not sure why though. All I know is that I would have sodomized him for raping my dog.
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Postby Slug » June 1st 2005 4:20 pm

It's not the same for me if I'm not keeping the viscious pedo cycle going by doing it myself.

:)
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Postby kremzike » June 1st 2005 5:53 pm

stacy3po wrote:same site, I found this treasure from dragoncon 2002!
http://htomc.dns2go.com/dc2002/AUT_3848.JPG

Should bacta & I get similar outfits? :lol:
*notice Gus the horny boots janitor trying not to look?

*EDIT: :siren: nasty convention whore :siren:


Well... I know one way to make her look better. Put her next to this guy...

http://www.spatcave.com/dc02/106CANON/IMG_0659.JPG
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Postby kremzike » June 1st 2005 5:57 pm

Oooooh, and just in case you liked her more next to the Leia dude, this one will bring your opinion RIGHT back down!

http://www.spatcave.com/dc02/107CANON/IMG_0732.JPG

I gotta stop going through this site!
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Postby Slug » June 1st 2005 6:07 pm

Somebody buy that bitch a bowflex or something!!

It's called toning ho, look into it.
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Postby Bandersnatch » June 4th 2005 8:26 pm

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Postby Bandersnatch » June 4th 2005 8:38 pm

chub chub
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Postby Bandersnatch » June 17th 2005 10:25 am

WFMY News - Greensboro, NC Suicide By Super Glue


Bangkok, Thailand -- A young Thai man with a history of moodiness has killed himself by gluing his mouth and nose shut with super glue.

Bangkok police say the young man's body was found Thursday morning in his bedroom, apparently after suffocating overnight.

They say a small amount of cash and a note saying "Here is all that I have, take what you please" were also found on the bed.

The man's family told police he had argued with his sister Wednesday, over some money she borrowed and did not repay.

He then went into his bedroom, where his body was found ten hours later.
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Postby Slug » June 17th 2005 2:05 pm

I guess he missed the opening night of Batman Begins cause she didn't pay him back.
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foetus

Postby Bandersnatch » June 27th 2005 10:53 am

Foetus Envy:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/4624307.stm

Doctors 'find dead foetus in boy'
Doctors in Bangladesh say they have removed a long-dead foetus from the abdomen of a teenage boy who was complaining of stomach pains.
They said the foetus would have become the boy's twin had it grown normally in their mother's womb.

They said it was a case of an extremely rare condition where two foetuses are conceived as conjoined twins but one absorbs the other.

In 2003 Kazakhstan doctors removed a foetus from a seven-year-old boy.

Limbs developed

Sixteen-year-old Abu Raihan was admitted to the Bangabandhu Medical University hospital in the capital, Dhaka on Saturday.

"After the operation we found a dead foetus weighing two kilograms (4.5lbs) in his abdomen," Doctor MA Mazid said, the AFP news agency reports.

"Apart from the head, all other limbs of the baby were developed."

The condition is known as "foetus in foeto", or inclusion twin.

"In this case the foetus of the baby entered into the foetus of the boy and continued to grow like a tumour in the boy's abdomen," gynaecology specialists Nurun Nahar said.

Hundreds of curious locals flocked to the hospital on hearing a rumour that a boy had given birth to a baby.

In April, 2003, doctors at Chimkent Children's Hospital in Kazakhstan discovered the dead foetus of a twin brother when operating on a seven-year-old boy.

The foetus had developed into a tumour but was found to have hair, nails and bones.
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Postby Bandersnatch » June 27th 2005 11:15 am

Imagine the nicknames that kid will have to endure for the rest of his teenage years.
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Postby Fantana » June 27th 2005 1:46 pm

if anyone can come up with one here, its you bander... were waiting
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Postby Bandersnatch » June 27th 2005 8:08 pm

For once, my mind is blank...
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Postby Fantana » June 27th 2005 8:14 pm

for once, you let me down...

-2 e-points for you
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Postby Bandersnatch » July 6th 2005 6:45 am

http://news.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.j ... stab05.xml

Boy, 11, stabbed baby whose crying spoiled his PlayStation game
By Nigel Bunyan
(Filed: 05/07/2005)

An 11-year-old boy stabbed his baby nephew in the stomach after the infant's crying disrupted his PlayStation game.

The boy told police that in the minutes before the incident he had kept "dying" as he played the game, based on the cartoon characters The Incredibles, in his bedroom. The crying made him feel like "an erupting volcano''.

He paused the game and went to get a kitchen knife to repair a toy. Then he went into the baby's bedroom and stabbed him in his carry cot. The blade broke and he hid the knife under a television cabinet.

Yesterday the boy, dressed in a black suit, white shirt and purple tie, sat beside his father at Hull Crown Court and denied attempted murder on Dec 15 last year. He also denied wounding with intent and wounding.

Gary Burrell, QC, said the incident happened at a time when the family was under strain. The boy's sister was in hospital and their mother was looking after the baby as well as her own children.

Having always been "the baby of the family", he felt pushed out.

Before the stabbing a teacher had told the boy off for playing truant. He had replied: "There is a lot going on in my head.''

He began crying, saying that his family was looking after a baby who was noisy. He added: "The baby is doing my head in." The teacher also recalled an allegation that the boy was being bullied.

Mr Burrell said that on the day of the incident the boy's sister was out, his stepfather was asleep and his mother had gone round to a friend's home. Ten minutes later her son arrived in great distress and said: "I have done something awful. Something really bad has happened to [the baby].''

His mother returned to her flat and found the baby bleeding heavily in his carry cot. He was taken to the Diana, Princess of Wales Hospital, Grimsby, for surgery to a life-threatening injury and remained in hospital for six days.

When police interviewed the boy he recalled hearing his nephew crying and described fetching the knife and mending a toy from McDonald's. Then he went into the baby's room. "I still had the knife in my hand and I know I hit him with it in the bedroom. Without realising it, I stabbed him," he allegedly said.

He said he had stabbed the baby with a force "somewhere in the middle'' of his capability and described his nephew's eyes "going big" as the knife entered.

Henry Pearson, a consultant general surgeon at the hospital, said the knife had been pushed in one direction and then possibly in two other directions while inside the baby's stomach.

The boy's mother said her son adored the baby, regarding him as a brother rather than a nephew. The jury heard that the boy had seen his nephew once since the incident and had clearly been delighted, both kissing him and waving to him.

Mr Burrell told the seven men and five women on the jury that there was "really no dispute'' about what had happened. "The sole issue here is the extent of the child's mental intention when he stabbed the baby".

The trial continues.


:|
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Postby The_Somnambulist » July 6th 2005 9:14 am

"There is a lot going on in my head.''

"The baby is doing my head in."

"Hey tears, I'm tryin' to finish my game! Shet ep, huh?!"

Who is this kid? :lol:

Whatever. Further confirmation that videogames turn the young into cold-blooded killers.
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Postby Bandersnatch » July 6th 2005 10:45 am

The_Somnambulist wrote:Further confirmation that videogames turn the young into cold-blooded killers.


Actually, it was Shakespeare that did it for me... :heavymetal:
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Postby Fantana » July 6th 2005 12:50 pm

Craig T. Nelson is the fucking man.

"Make it quick" - Family Guy
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Postby The_Somnambulist » July 6th 2005 12:53 pm

...and argued that it rots the brain and makes people dumb

It also can make people impressively smart, but about trivial, irrelevant things.
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Postby Bandersnatch » July 6th 2005 3:29 pm

Shit Head: http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/4662466/detail.html

Thanks to TakeMeBack for finding this one:

Man Pulled From Women's Outhouse Tank
Teenager Reports Seeing Man's Face In Toilet

June 28, 2005

ALBANY, N.H. -- A man is facing charges after police said they pulled him from a tank under a women's toilet that was filled with human waste.

Police said that Gary Moody, 45, was under a log cabin outhouse off the Kancamagas Highway in Albany.

"You can draw your own conclusions as to the conditions we encountered," said Capt. John Hebert, of the Carroll County Sheriff's Department.

Police said that they got a call from the parents of a teenage girl who said that when she went to use the facilities, she saw Moody's face staring back at her from the hole.

Moody was hosed off before police cuffed him.

"It's a very filthy environment, and before we put anybody in contact with him, we had to decontaminate him," Hebert said. "We treated him as if he were hazardous material."

Hikers using the outhouse on Tuesday said that the story was enough to make their stomachs turn.

"He just must be sick to put yourself in that muck. Disgusting," said Harriett Voysey, of New Jersey.

Police said they don't know how long Moody was in the tank, but they said the door to it was locked, which means he must have gone in through the toilet. They said they don't know why he was there.

"I started this business in 1980, and I have never in my career encountered anybody in this type of situation," Hebert said.

Police charged Moody with criminal trespass, and they said he could face more charges. He is out on bail and due back in court next month.
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Re: Stupid & Stupider (and other strange tales)

Postby yarq » July 1st 2025 12:20 pm

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