[Christmas In October] voodoo requests for darkjedi

[Artmaul]

Dear darkjedi,

Is it possible if you can punish my bitch ex-girlfriend? She seems to be on a ladder of unstoppable success, and I think it is time for her to fall. I know you must deal mostly in chicken, but do you think you could help?

Your servant,

Artmaul

[KitFisto]

I'll throw in a barrel, if you punish that ass who cut me off.

[Insert Username]

I would like one of my ex-girlfriends to fall in love with me only to be graphically upset when I reject her for anothe,
Can you plz mak this haoppen,
Ktyhxbye

[darkjedi]

no

[Insert Username]

What if I pay you in pig's blood and assorted ground nuts/berries?

[Artmaul]

What if I pay you in pig's blood and assorted ground nuts/berries?

It was the nuts and berries that did it for me.

[SVTCobra]

I am also having a halloween party on the 30th. Perhaps if you could arrange Dracula and Swamp Thing and maybe Mothra to stop by that would be really cool. I also plan on playing the lottery in 5 days, err well 4 days now. I'm feeling lucky!

[darkjedi]

4 days good luck

[Insert Username]

Wow. Just like that? All you have to do to bless someone is type the characters "4 days good luck" in the text box of a reply screen on an SW Internet messageboard and it will come true? No potions or inhalation of smoldering funghi or altered mental states? What a powerful voodoo queen you must be!



Let me try:

darkjedi found by parents hanging from ceiling fan in basement.

[darkjedi]

you dont even know

[darkjedi]

Wow. Just like that? All you have to do to bless someone is type the characters "4 days good luck" in the text box of a reply screen on an SW Internet messageboard and it will come true? No potions or inhalation of smoldering funghi or altered mental states? What a powerful voodoo queen you must be!

Let me try:

if your tough do you th e balls to say these things face to face i dont think so you will be destroyed i would beat the shit out of you but you dont have the balls i dont have to hid e behind a computer

[Insert Username]

It took you 35 minutes to think of that 2nd post?

Now take my dick out your ear so you can hear yourself sounding out the words phonetically real good:

You.
Are.
A.
Fucking.
Tool.

Thanks for playing.

[darkjedi]

what it comes down to is you dont have the balls im sure something can be arranged i think we are both on the east coast you see this is all fun and all but i would really fuck you up thtas the reality you dont the balls to find out do you

[Insert Username]

Repost from another thread:

"listen uncle jay we are both on the east coast your from jersey or nyc lets meet at penn station and i will kick your fucking ass how does that sound"

Stunning originality but then the whole "thinking then typing messages" thing never did seem to work for you.

By East Coast you obviously don't mean Australia. Which is where I am. So if your burning desire is such that you want to front an airfare to NYC and a hotel room so you can have a chance at fighting me, then I'll PM you a Paypal account and we'll sort something out. As it is, if I turned up at your parents spacious suburban 2 car driveway home and asked if I could beat on their wheelchair-bound autistic son who's been suffering bouts of night terrors and irritable bowel syndrome because the big kids at school pick on him for his large, sloping Neanderthal-esque browline....they'd probably thank me.

[darkjedi]

lets make the arrangements that is not a problem

[SVTCobra]

what it comes down to is you dont have the balls im sure something can be arranged i think we are both on the east coast you see this is all fun and all but i would really fuck you in the ass thtas the reality you dont the balls to find out do you