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It's not about love - it's about power.
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Vader is a slave at heart. Without a loved one to give him real strength, he fears his master. Without Luke he would never have done in the Emperor. Without Padme he can't muster the will, either. Heck, apparently he even gives Obi-Wan a chance to escape, thereby avoiding The Duel. For all of his power, without love he's only a coward. Pretty powerful point.
The Star Wars saga and Anakin's quest to prevent those he loves from dying is like the Wizard of Oz.
The power he seeks to prevent "death" is love.
It's not the lightside's spirtual life after death. It's not the darkside's corrpution of the spirit to keep yourself alive.
It's love.
Think of Star Wars like this...
Anakin goes on this journey to find this power. The Jedi say do as we say and your spirit becomes one with Force. The Sith say do was we say and you'll never die. This sounds good to Anakin because out of his love for those he cares about, he wants to prevent death. He sides with Palpatine because the Jedi version of eternal life requires you to die first. After siding with Palps he finds out he has been betrayed - he becomes this broken down decrepit worm of a man. This isn't what he wanted.
Along comes his son and Anakin is watching as his son is about to die. What does he do... he realizes that he CAN prevent death - by chosing to love again. He commits an act of love and turns on his master. It isn't the almighty FORCE that picks up Palpatine and drives Vader's broken body forward. It's the love for his son. Anakin finally realizes that if you love someone, you either have to let them go or you must suffer the consequences. Anakin realizes that if he loves his son, he must face his own mortality.
Thus, the hero's quest for this power is a false one. Just like the quest for the Grail. Ultimately, the power the hero seeks does not lie in the mythical; but, in the tangible love that Anakin feels for his family. He had this power of CHOICE all along. All he had to do was realize that there are things in life you can't control. If he decided to fall in love with Padme, then he needed to accept the possibility of the pain the loss of a loved one can cause.
Balance to the Force occurs when both the Jedi and the Sith are wipped out and a new Jedi is reborn that understands both the Force and love - just like Luke. Luke was willing to face his own mortality because his belief in the good of his father was so strong that he was willing to die for it. Thus the balance was restored by Anakin eliminating the Sith and dying in the process. Out with the old and in with the new.