. So...
Let's imagine that you've landed The Dream Job of working on designing ships and vehicles for Star Wars.
You work your fanny off, executing several new star destroyer designs that beautifully echo the aesthetic from the Original Trilogy.
You pin your heart-filled and genius drawings on the wall, and Rian Johnson comes in, quickly scanning all of the competing concepts. He stands in front of your brilliant designs and says, "I like it. I like it a lot."
You're like, "OMG! He loves my super detailed multi-tiered homage to the greatest capital ship design ever put to screen." And then he says, "I really like the SHAPE of it."
Expecting a much more robust stream of feedback, you nervously say, "The...'shape'...of it...?"
"Yes, yes... The SHAPE of it. The shape..."
"Take all of these tiers, all of the doodads and interesting nooks and crannies, and make it flat."
"Uh...'flat,' sir?"
"Yes, yes! Like this!" Rian snatches a large eraser, and starts scrubbing at all of the meticulous and exquisite hull details, leaving deep scuff and shredding marks across the surface of the sheet of premium paper. His left hand eventually starts rubbing his right wrist, "Ow... I think I strained my hand. Man, being a visionary is HARD work!"
You just stand there, completely shell-shocked, choking back sobs and tears. Several days' worth of mind-wracking labor, just completely obliterated.
He then snaps the felt tip marker out of your hand, "Kids all around the world are expecting a bold SIGNATURE look, aren't they? We've got to give it to them! Annnnnd... here... it... is!"
He draws a huge penis throbbing out from underneath the triangular ruin.
Aghast, you utter, "What...is...that...sir?"
"The Johnson!"
"The - what - sir?"
"The Johnson! It's a powerful cannon that squirts destructive energies across the screen. I named it after myself."
He carefully pulls the pushpins out of it, and hands the devastated drawing back to you. "Now, make it better."
Voice trembling, lower lip quivering, "Um, uh, how sir?"
"Well, it's obvious. Make it flatter. I mean F-L-A-T, FLAT. Give it a rectangular aerofoil that runs the entire width across its rear, and mount two mammoth weapons emplacements right underneath the aerofoil, so that their field of fire is nearly zero. Functionality don't matter. It'll look cool."
You nod your head slowly as you slump your way back to the designing table.
"Oh, and add one more thing that'll get the kids' mouths drooling..."
You don't look back.
"Give it..."
"...TWO dongs! Twice the dongs, twice the drool...!"
"Of course, Mr. Johnson... Of course..."
You wait till he strides out of the studio, drop your head atop of your once-masterpiece, and weep, "I'm going to be arrested for putting this perversion in front of children..."
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