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millenniumfalcon.com • View topic - Space ships with dongs...
It is currently September 19th 2020 1:06 am




 
Post Posted: August 23rd 2017 7:28 pm
 
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Post Posted: August 23rd 2017 8:23 pm
 
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So...

Let's imagine that you've landed The Dream Job of working on designing ships and vehicles for Star Wars.

You work your fanny off, executing several new star destroyer designs that beautifully echo the aesthetic from the Original Trilogy.

You pin your heart-filled and genius drawings on the wall, and Rian Johnson comes in, quickly scanning all of the competing concepts. He stands in front of your brilliant designs and says, "I like it. I like it a lot."

You're like, "OMG! He loves my super detailed multi-tiered homage to the greatest capital ship design ever put to screen." And then he says, "I really like the SHAPE of it."

Expecting a much more robust stream of feedback, you nervously say, "The...'shape'...of it...?"

"Yes, yes... The SHAPE of it. The shape..."

"Take all of these tiers, all of the doodads and interesting nooks and crannies, and make it flat."

"Uh...'flat,' sir?"

"Yes, yes! Like this!" Rian snatches a large eraser, and starts scrubbing at all of the meticulous and exquisite hull details, leaving deep scuff and shredding marks across the surface of the sheet of premium paper. His left hand eventually starts rubbing his right wrist, "Ow... I think I strained my hand. Man, being a visionary is HARD work!"

You just stand there, completely shell-shocked, choking back sobs and tears. Several days' worth of mind-wracking labor, just completely obliterated.

He then snaps the felt tip marker out of your hand, "Kids all around the world are expecting a bold SIGNATURE look, aren't they? We've got to give it to them! Annnnnd... here... it... is!"

He draws a huge penis throbbing out from underneath the triangular ruin.

Aghast, you utter, "What...is...that...sir?"

"The Johnson!"

"The - what - sir?"

"The Johnson! It's a powerful cannon that squirts destructive energies across the screen. I named it after myself."

He carefully pulls the pushpins out of it, and hands the devastated drawing back to you. "Now, make it better."

Voice trembling, lower lip quivering, "Um, uh, how sir?"

"Well, it's obvious. Make it flatter. I mean F-L-A-T, FLAT. Give it a rectangular aerofoil that runs the entire width across its rear, and mount two mammoth weapons emplacements right underneath the aerofoil, so that their field of fire is nearly zero. Functionality don't matter. It'll look cool."

You nod your head slowly as you slump your way back to the designing table.

"Oh, and add one more thing that'll get the kids' mouths drooling..."

You don't look back.

"Give it..."

"...TWO dongs! Twice the dongs, twice the drool...!"

"Of course, Mr. Johnson... Of course..."

You wait till he strides out of the studio, drop your head atop of your once-masterpiece, and weep, "I'm going to be arrested for putting this perversion in front of children..."


Post Posted: August 23rd 2017 9:07 pm
 

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It didnt bother me at all... until you said something


Post Posted: August 24th 2017 6:24 am
 
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Post Posted: August 24th 2017 9:41 am
 

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Got it, every cannon in history is a dong, by this argument. Why don't you take it up with Rian Johnson on twitter? He does answer his twitter quite often, even my own tweets a few times. As he has said. He chooses the designs. I will quote him. It's all on him if you love or hate anything in the movie, it was his choices. "Love it or hate it, it's all on me." Nobody posted the Sw.com article discussing the designs. http://www.starwars.com/news/inside-two ... -last-jedi


Post Posted: August 24th 2017 10:13 am
 
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At least kyle can't complain that Star Wars has gone all Disneyfied.

I sure don't remember seeing any ships with dicks in The Black Hole. :monocles:


Post Posted: August 24th 2017 11:12 am
 

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Look it's two dongs! https://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/st ... 0310234537

Oh and some people have said what X-Wings are shaped like for like 40 years.


Post Posted: August 24th 2017 4:38 pm
 
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Post Posted: August 24th 2017 4:51 pm
 
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Post Posted: August 24th 2017 4:58 pm
 
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There's so much behind-the-scenes footage and stories of Lucas tirelessly guiding the concept art and pre-visualization process on his films; making tons of hard, well-considered decisions amid a seemingly ever-revolving process that would last from before scripting into post-production. I guess this is why. To avoid mediocrity.


Post Posted: August 24th 2017 4:59 pm
 

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well... normally I think most of passionate rants on this site are childish and silly... but... I cant argue with you at all... I agree... whats the deal? Disney?


Post Posted: August 24th 2017 6:40 pm
 
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Post Posted: August 24th 2017 6:55 pm
 

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Stop with the Disney stuff, Disney is not sitting in a board room coming up with designs, Rian has a team at Lucasfilm team at Skywalker ranch doing that, and he choses the designs, as he's said. "Like anything or hate anything about the movie, it's all on him." Oh and just keep ignoring what many have said an X-Wing has looked like for 40 years....


Post Posted: August 24th 2017 7:11 pm
 

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an xwing had a classic star fighter shape... pizza with a dong hanging down is different...


Post Posted: August 24th 2017 7:13 pm
 

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Every cannon is a dong, I get it. http://pleasesavemerobots.blogspot.com/ ... agery.html


Post Posted: August 24th 2017 7:17 pm
 

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http://boards.theforce.net/threads/the- ... 903/page-2


Post Posted: August 25th 2017 8:47 am
 

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I understand what youre saying... but I personally have NEVER thought that... until now.


Post Posted: August 25th 2017 8:48 am
 

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and the commentary on the laziness in the design is spot on. Im sure it will look cool on screen.


Post Posted: August 25th 2017 10:23 am
 
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It has an enormous schwanzstucker.


Post Posted: August 26th 2017 6:52 am
 
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I personally think the concepts/designs in the new films (TFA and R1 specifically) have been exceedingly mediocre. Which isn't to say talented people aren't involved, but the designs of what has ended up in the films are so uninteresting and pedestrian. I'm holding back on criticicing the designs of TLJ as, so far, I like the look of the speeders, the ships flying over the salt lake and some of those B52 type rebel ships. However, the imperial ships look cack... but I suspect that's more a consequence of an (IMO) artistically flawed decision (made by Disney/Lucasfilm) to reuse the iconography/aesethic of the Empire/Imperials. Bland updated stormtroopers. Bland updated Tie Fighters, walkers and star destroyers...


Post Posted: August 27th 2017 11:38 am
 
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I had a long rebuttle to this. Personally, I like the design.

Kyle, lighten the fuck up. It's a movie...it's star wars, don't even pretend you're not going to see it.

Good luke with your penis and dong dreams (maybe you should see a doctor about those).


Post Posted: August 27th 2017 9:30 pm
 
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Post Posted: August 27th 2017 10:21 pm
 
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Actually, I stopped reading your posts some times ago. They remind me of why I stopped reading the drivel that populates TFN.

Not our universe. We can't change it, we can't even voice an objection to it.

Your argument is to compare the new space ship to a dorito....with a dong. And I'm supposed to legitimize that with some massive post arguing why its not correct. Why talking about a space ship....with a dong....is not correct. God Help Me...Please. Are you 12?

If you don't like it, go cry foul with all the other fucknuts that want papa george back in the seat (maybe you'll find Jar Jar's great grandson to save you). Otherwise, shut your yap hole and enjoy the ride because nothing you say changes where this goes. Nothing you say changes the aesthetics....Disney isn't trawling this forum going "Oh...well, Kyle thinks it looks like a dong...maybe we should change it."

I swear to go, sheep are going to be the death of this franchise.


Post Posted: August 27th 2017 11:26 pm
 
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Post Posted: August 28th 2017 7:17 pm
 
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Yeah....ok.

I have evidence. You aren't worth it.

End of story.

I'm old enough not to care about a 12 year old's opinion of me on a BBS...been there, done that.

Now, be a good boy, go back to sucking from george's dong and just let the movie happen. We're four months from it being released and you're already writing it off.


Post Posted: August 28th 2017 10:57 pm
 
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Post Posted: August 29th 2017 5:44 am
 
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Post Posted: August 29th 2017 5:57 am
 
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I think that the primary reason why I keep going back to Disney is that during the long bouts of preproduction, the Only Word we'll get on the new material is at a board meeting from Disney CEO Bob Iger.

Whenever he utters a few words about a film's status it makes major entertainment and financial headlines news everywhere.

To me, that indicates that Disney has sway, otherwise why even bother Iger, and then he holds major meetings about the franchise where no press is allowed to cover what he's revealing inside.

If Disney literally has no sway over what Lucasfilm is generating then I stand corrected.


Post Posted: August 29th 2017 6:01 am
 
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I loved Rogue One. Interesting takes on new spacecraft abounded. An element that's completely missing in the new trilogy. I don't get why Lucasfilm is doing what it's doing. They're obviously capable of extremely higher heights than what we're being given for the new trilogy.


Post Posted: August 29th 2017 2:55 pm
 
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I owe the community an apology.

I swear, if one were to ever pool together every single post I've ever made in my lifetime, one would never find a posting or a reply on the level that I wrote last night.

I've been exhausted to the bone for several weeks. Getting a few hours of sleep each night, and during my daytime hours I work with a large quantity of children who's lives have been broken by their parents. When I deal with their parents, it has to always be with the utmost professionalism, even though what they're drowning their children in is unfathomable and reprehensible. I see how these individuals operate, how they always insidiously displace the horrific consequences of their evil actions onto their children, their victims, who, in their warped mind, "deserve" it.

The system never supplies an outlet for those who have to try and help these kids pickup the pieces. If you're good at your job, there's only ever more kids, and ever more pieces.

So, again, I deeply apologize.

In my decades of doing this hard work, I've learned in the most daunting way, with the highest stakes possible, that despite one's most earnest wishes, one can never change another person about anything. Ever.

So...

Let go.

Try to find Peace.

Move on, and carry on Life's path, wherever it leads you...


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